Let me back up.
I was never one of those girls who dreamed about her princess-perfect wedding from the age of Barbies onward. I think the first time I thought about my wedding was, literally, after Matthew proposed to me. Then I was like, "oh shit! We'll need a wedding!"
And from there on out, it was just a totally stressful affair, because A) I am not an event planner, B) hiring one wasn't in our budget, C) no really, I truly SUCK at planning events, and organizing little details goes directly against the grain of my personality, D) I was in the last semester of my senior year of college, working almost full time, and working an internship part time, E) my groom was living in California, and F) I DON'T EVEN LIKE WEDDINGS.
So then all of this weird stuff started happening, like resentment because we couldn't afford the most gorgeous flowers and the most fantastic wedding favors and the most stunning venue.
And frustration because everyone had an opinion, and it seemed like mine and Matthew's should be the only ones that mattered.
And annoyance over arbitrary traditions and rules that everyone seems to follow like sheep, never asking "Why? Does this apply in modern day weddings? Does this work for our situation?"
And money down the drain for things that poof! and disappeared the moment the wedding was over and everyone rushed home to watch the Super Bowl (because yes, our wedding was on Super Bowl Sunday afternoon - a direct consequence of having ME plan ANY event, ever).
Now, it may just sound like I'm bitter over my own personal issues with weddings. And in many ways, my own experience certainly does play a role. But I recently read this article, and it perfectly voiced how I feel and what I could never say as eloquently.
"Imagine for a moment if weddings were prohibited, or better yet, if you could only have one after 10 years of marriage. How much money would be saved? More importantly, how many ill-advised unions would never happen in the first place?"
"And what if, as a society, we celebrated other milestones instead? Wouldn't it be amazing if college graduations were given the wedding treatment? If the commencement ceremony included a $3,000 dress and a $70-a-plate dinner for friends and family who came in from all over the country? Photographers, flowers, dancing, a band?"
Amen to that! And no one will ever take your degree away. Whereas, statistically, your marriage license only has a 50% likelihood of staying in force for a lifetime.
I don't think weddings are all bad. I think, for some people, it can be a super joyous planning process, and perhaps you've saved for it or your family has saved for it, and so the money isn't an issue. I guess all I'm saying is that I hope you unmarried ladies out there will really think it over before allowing yourself and your family to bleed copious amounts of cash out into your wedding, and before you allow the planning of it to take over your life and put undue stress on your relationships, or cause others (bridesmaids, groomsmen) a financial burden they maybe can't afford (they may be in other weddings, as well, and that gets SO pricey!). Before you put the planning of a wedding before the planning of a life. HERE is another really beautiful article with REAL TALK about marriage, which I highly recommend you read. No two marriages are alike, but it's really wise to be prepared for what will inevitably happen at some point after riding off into the sunset.
What are your thoughts? Love weddings? Hate them? Sound off if you have something to contribute to the conversation!
No comments:
Post a Comment