Oh man, you guys... I am writing this on Thursday evening, just after a phone call with my sweet Grandpa. Over the holidays he was in town with us from his home in Oregon, and I had the opportunity to listen and write down his answers to about the first half of the questions in this book. I had given the books to him and my Grandma each for Christmas last year, only she passed away suddenly in March, as many of you know, and I will never get to hear or read those priceless answers. But on Christmas Eve this year we took out his Grandpa book, and I started to ask and listen and write, and where before he had been incredibly, tangibly "low" as he faced his first Christmas in sixty-some years without the love of his life, we watched and noticed as his spirits were visibly lifted during and after answering the questions. He was telling his story. He was revisiting memories he'd had no cause to revisit in maybe years or decades. He was being listened to, and cared about.
During the time my Grandpa was there staying at my mom's, Matthew and I moved out and into our new home, and a few days later we had them over for dinner at the new place.
"Are you going to interrogate me again tonight?" My Grandpa asked hopefully, and I laughed. "Absolutely!" Again, it was so sweet to see how much he seemed to be enjoying this.
But we didn't get to finish the book, so I offered to call him every Thursday evening at 8 PM my time and 6 PM his, and we'd go over a few of the questions each chat. His home phone in Oregon must have rang at about 5:59, and he picked up after barely two rings... most likely waiting by the phone.
"Hello?" He said.
"Hi Grandpa!"
"Jen?"
"Yep, it's me! Ready for your interrogation?"
And you guys, I cannot even tell you how much it touched me tonight, to chat for 22 minutes with a man who should have died in the Korean War, but didn't... a man without whom I wouldn't exist. I can't tell you how much it touched me to hear him re-tell the story of how he met my Grandma. How he first laid eyes on her in the hallway of their Passaic Valley, New Jersey high school, after he got back from the war. She was with at least three other girls, he said, but he locked eyes on her. "If it's possible to fall in love at first sight," he told me, his voice breaking as it often does, "I fell in love. She was it, my whole life."
There's probably about a month's worth of Thursday phone calls left, but I don't know, I might just make up my own questions so it lasts longer. It is such an honor and a privilege to take that time. I know it's helping him through an incredibly difficult time, and somehow, it's helping me too. We so often live in such a world of ME ME ME, so focused on our own issues and endeavors and hurts and pains and joys, that we forget to reach out and be there for the people who were put in our lives to be there for. Don't ignore your grandparents - make time for them, get to know them, love on them. I wish I had done that more for my Grandma, but I'm content to know she knew that I adored her, and it really feels like the right thing to do, to help care for my Grandpa's heart in her absence.
Happy Friday, my friends, and thank you as always for listening to my thoughts... :)
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