While I was in college and during the year Matthew and I did the long distance thing, I lived in a tiny little two bedroom, one bath house built in the 1950�s. That house had ugly green carpets, a bit of a roach problem, and was terribly drafty� I remember the walls in winter being ice cold, and in the summer the AC ran almost all day long. But I loved that little house, and I was proud to call it home, despite all the troubles that come with renting an older place.
I remember always feeling overwhelmed, though. I had one bathroom, and I couldn�t keep it clean. A bedroom that was always strewn with clothes and textbooks and other miscellaneous junk. 900 square feet of space, and yet I couldn�t keep the carpets clean or the kitchen tidy or the yard manicured.
Now I know part of that just has to do with being young and busy and inexperienced in such matters (up until that point, I�d only had to keep a bedroom clean). But sometimes I look back on that and think to myself how pathetic it was that I couldn�t keep up with that place. I was busy, but not that busy. What it came down to was that I was just lazy and didn�t understand my own potential to get things done and, yes, still have time to relax.
The result was that I always felt guilty, always felt behind, never had that �ahhhhhh�� feeling of a clean home and an organized life. Now don�t get me wrong�I definitely haven�t perfected all this yet. Quite the contrary. But looking back on my past and also watching people I admire, like my husband, and the way they tackle all the tasks set before them has been a learning experience for me over the last couple of years. I�ve learned that almost all of my limitations are self-imposed, and I�m working on training myself to be another way, even though it doesn�t really come natural to me.
The second post I ever wrote on this blog was titled �people do what they want to do,� and it was about just that. If someone isn�t keeping up with things they should be in their life, it�s because they don�t want to. There are other things more important to them, and they haven�t developed the habits to do the things they should before they do the things they want. And I guess my challenge to myself lately (and now maybe you?) is to do the things you should, and just maybe, when you develop those good habits, they�ll become the things you want. I�m seeing this happen in my own life! Slowly, but surely. I�m taking an active role in my life�making actionable plans, and then carrying them out. I even have an accountability partner I �check in� with via Skype every day, and it�s been helping SO much.
We�re all so different. Some of us are �take the bull by the horns� types, maybe because of our personalities or our upbringing, etc. But I believe that, even if you�re not, you can train yourself to be. You can make your life something you�re proud of, whether you�re a student, a stay at home mom, a small business owner, or climbing up the corporate ladder (and everything in between).
Just some random thoughts I�m thinking today. Hope it�s a good one for you!
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